/**/

I feel time – its passage and its value – more strongly lately.

I guess it comes with age.

If I am blessed to live to a strong 70 years, this year would spot on be my half-age. The usual mid-life crisis.

I am attuned to how far I’ve come, and it’s also glaringly obvious how nowhere near I’m supposed to go.

Like how I have gotten used to doing, I focus on the half-full. I magnify the breakthroughs, the barely theres, the surviving. And I try not to cry over the passed bys, the forgotten, the nowhere-near-finishing. The might-have beens, those are the ones that are most painful.

Sometimes I feel I am exactly where I should be. And yet I can’t help but glance back and try to look forward, the indecision and haziness of the future scaring me.

Yet I remind myself God is in full control of my life, that I am exactly where I should be.
And I pray.
And then it happens. That five-minute calm, that clarity, that serenity, that peace.
I feel I am exactly where I should be.

I feel time – its passage and its value – more strongly lately.
And like how I have gotten used to doing, I focus on the half-full.

I feel time, how it’s sweeping, racing and slow at the time. I panic most of the times, I get sad, wistful, hopeful.
But like how I have gotten used to doing, I focus on the half-full.
More intention. More value. Even with less time.

I am exactly where I should be.